This was the last conversation I had with a guy who I’ve run into from time to time since college. The fact that he thought I was crazy because I’m single had more to do with how he thinks, more than me actually being crazy. But there is something to say about this perception that a woman being single, who some may assume shouldn’t be, has some crazy complex. I will be fair and say sometimes we do, but sometimes we don’t.
What I do know is there’s something called timing. And for some reason, it hasn’t been on my side with dating and relationships. So much so that I’ve been cooling down on it for the sake of my own sanity.
If someone asked me, “Why are you single?” I could easily say there ain’t no good men out there, which is not true at all. Or, my career is taking up too much of my time, which would be half true, yet I actually don’t mind making time for the right person. But none of those answers really make sense to me other than the timing thing.
I have no problem meeting men or getting asked out. I’m not saying I have dates lined up every weekend. But I find it’s easier to meet men than to find someone worth sharing my time with.
Men with no intentions sound the same after awhile. It’s like picking up the same book and reading the same lines over and over, to the point where you can recite them by heart. Similar ways, similar game. Word to Jhene.
Some may say, oh you’re attracting the wrong ones. It’s so easy to put the blame on us woman isn’t it? I wish it were that simple. But I attract all types of men. From the guy on the street corner to the suited up brother. When you’re attractive, everyone is going to try you. Who I let in and stay in really says alot though.
And that’s where things get confusing. If I like someone, I’m going to give him a chance to prove he’s different. That’s what men usually claim to want. No guy wants to be put in the same boat as other men. But somehow they turn out to be the same. To me that’s “crazy” behavior right there. Somebody is lying.
As a woman if I don’t date, I may come off as being snobby, bitter, not open, not living my life to the fullest, etc. But some guys have a problem with making their words match their actions. If you don’t plan on being around, why say you will? If you don’t plan on being serious, why talk up yourself to be that type of guy? Cause it’s fun? It sounds nice to say? That’s just what men do? Whatever it is, in the end I see right through it. If this is what I must face, then you can’t blame me for wanting to wrap myself in my books, and my writing, and stay far away from it all.
And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. It’s not time for me to have a man in my life.
But the teasing never ends. Like that instance I visited my friends in D.C. a few weeks ago. I forgot their apartment number and they weren’t picking up their phones because they had fell asleep. I knocked on a door I thought was theirs. But it wasn’t. A man (a beautiful one at that) opened up. And I’m like are you serious? It’s 10:45 at night. My friends weren’t picking up the phone, making me kind of stranded. This is not the ideal moment to be presented with this man. What if he kidnaps me? So I walked away.
Then that time I was on my way to an event and I saw this cute guy on the train, who kept eyeing me. I get to the event and see him. After the event was over and I’m walking to the subway, he approaches me and sparks up a convo. My sister was with me and I felt so awkward flirting in front of her. And eventually no contacts were exchanged because I shriveled up like a little girl. Yeah I know. I will take some blame — sometimes.
I do meet alot of potentially good guys. But we never align. The time will come though. I aint got no worries.
For now, to all the guys that were wondering, I’m not crazy. Maybe I’m the sane one, and divine intervention is keeping me from getting involved with these men who are actually the crazy ones. One thing is for sure I know I’m being saved for someone great.