I feel as if this was desperately needed. FUCK BET.

They are always airing some special or have some documentary on or about the progress of Black people and the things we need to or should do to continue that support. But I think thats all BULLSHIT. I’m not sugarcoating a damn thing. BET aint shit, tonight our President, our nation’s first African American President, spoke live from Tucson, Arizona; after the shooting tragedy this past Saturday. He spoke about how as Americans, how as a country we need to move forward together pasted this national tragedy. How in honor of the victims that we lost, that we need to ensure that as we move forward that our progress continues as a nation, as we continue to perfect this Union. That we do it in such a manner that we live up to the innocent image that 9 year old little girl had of this country. But yet, this wasn’t aired on Black Entertainment Television. Where is the support, how come they did promote, advertise, or air the broadcast. But can produced and advertise the shit out of The Game and Let’s Stay Together. I don’t have anything against either show, but fuck BET in general. The things that should be highly promote to increase the standards of our community just fall through the cracks, when you OUR network is suppose to be there as you say you are to help us move forward. But you, BET are truly lacking in the moral fiber to actually accomplish this task. 

I will undoubtingly assume that we all for the most part hold our Grandmothers close to our hearts. For if not for them, we would not be.

For me this statement is forever true. A friend recently lost her Grandmother, and in sending my condolensces I expressed that even after death Grandma’s still remain with us, because they are always in our heart. And in the days follows I continued to ponder on this thought, realizing that it is that deep, but also goes deeper.

Grandma’s are at the foundation of the person we are today. Usually strict and stern, stuck in their ways, but modern in the attempts of trying to stay up to date with the happening. Grandma’s are the first to provide us with nourturing frevously needed, not trying to take anything from the women we call mother. But it is Grandma who instructs, guides, and assist; mommy in learning or on the path of becoming a mother.

So it is with great respect for every Grandmother, that when contemplating the creation of this post that I needed to make sure that it was done with much admiration for their strength in being the nucleus of a family, that bond that brings and keeps the family together. That it be done with envy for the knowledge and wisdom they posse, that knowledge they use to directly and indirectly guide our lives. That it be done with a level of jealousy that one day I can imcompass the passion and love they have for life. That love that gives them the strength to raise that grandchild that other wise has been abandoned. The passion that even though those aging bones are brittle and hurt she continues to do all to provide.

It would be unbecoming of the person that I’m striving to be if I didn’t say that I appreciate the good times and the bad times spent with Grandma. From the laughs and conversation about life, to the beatings over not getting up when she called or just because of foolish childhood actions. But it is because of these encounters, because of those moments of upbraiding and those moments of joy, that I’m today Jarrell. A man that respects the courage of not only my Grandmothers but all, a man that sheds a tear from all that they have done for me, for the place that I was to the place that they have help bring me.

Still blessed to live theses days with both my Grandmothers, and as I get older, I understand the days aren’t endless, so I say that I will spend them cherishing the moments. Deeply encouraging those who can, to do. For those who can’t, just take a minute to speak, trust me she’s listening. Remember no moment spent with Grandma is to short.

So today I had a very impromptu convo with Miss Chapman. I’ve come to find that she’s a very lovely young lady. One whose company, opinion, and overall friendship I have come to enjoy. But what I want to touch on is happiness in a relationship. True Happiness in a Relationship. Wondering what kind of science is a relationship? Chemistry, physics, earth, or biology. Its not easy figuring it all out. Then everyone list a number of components that go into making that relationship good, but noone ever talks about what in those parts it takes to make it work. So here’s how I would break it down. Agree or disagree, add to it or just read it, its my attempt at adding to this long unsolved theory of love and happiness in a relationship.

Love - a very indescrible feeling, I mean it varies from relationship to relationship. You will have those who say its that they complete my setences, were so in sync (I think this is the bullshit). But I do think a part of love is growing or maturing into two people who understand the likes and differences you each have. Accepting the flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes the other will make, but realizing in the grand scheme of it all that there is something far greater than those common flaws that you both have. The shortcomings and mistakes you both will make that truly makes your relationship, your love, your bond better and stronger.

Communication - they always say that having good communication helps in a relationship. But what does it really mean, being able to hold a good conversation? That definitely has to be included, but I feel it has to go beyond that but definitely has to start there. Understanding the grounds or the foundation in which your relationship will stand on is crucial. Think about it if that is not built how long you think your relationship is going to stand, pretty short especially once the differences begin to arise and you both are standing at opposing ends and not sporting each other. Like to cards leaning in on each other then standing up straight. Speak on the things that you don’t like and the things you love. Begin to respect those things the ones that they do and don’t like. Appreciate them because they help make your relationship different from the others. Continued silence or not speaking about what makes you happy does foster or build a relationship. It doesn’t not allow for either side to grow acustom or “change” for the other.

Trust - this is one of those elements you always hear about. Without the relationship is pointless or is just won’t work. And for the most part I agree. I can’t remember who said it, but it was said paraphrasing of course that “the only way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them.” This statement is so true, to many people both men & women, I believe more women than men spend more time not trusting than trusting but that’s another topic. You just gotta trust and let it go from there. Trust that this person will have your back through thick and thin. That they will be your confidant and shoulder to cry on when needed. That they will be in your corner to support and uplift. But only way that this trust can ever be created is throught communication. Your speech doesn’t have to be best, or the way you say it doesn’t have to be the most spectacular or expensive presentation as long as you get the point across. The trust will develop as long the communication continues.

Sex - not to long ago I was reading Miss Ebony’s page and she was asking would you rather have great sex and a bad relationship or a good relationship and bad sex. Well sex today is seen as a make or break in a relationship. If the sex is on and poppin one person isn’t either faithful or going to stay for long. But a relationship built just one sex won’t and doesn’t last long. I can say that speaking from experience. Sex is not a real relationship supportor, it does help in the balancing act but can it hold up 80 percent of a relationship. Negative. In sex’s defense, neither than any other one thing support 80 percent of a relationship, but I’m sure you get the point. But as far as sex goes in the relationship, it should be something you both work on to make great for the both of you. What worked for the last may not work for the next. But in making it better you need communication and trust. You don’t need love to have good sex, but to have the best sex, love is definitely in there.

Summary it all up this love and happiness thing is not an exact science. It will never be, but to achieve it know that it takes work. In order to be truly happy in a relationship you and your partner must find some equal balance between love, communication, trust, and sex. Those I guess you can say are the four pillars you can build your relationship upon. Allow it to stand on them and then add the others as time continues. I will just throw this couple of caveats in.

Don’t be afraid to say I love you or express your love first. And if your partner doesn’t reciprocate it back to you that doesn’t mean they don’t care or are less interested in the relationship. We all come to that love conclusion at different times.

Speak your mind, be respectful of the others feelings. But speak your mind, if you want to go out say it. If you want to have sex or don’t like how the sex is going say it.

Remember we all make mistakes that you are not mother or father superior. Be understanding and give it time, allow for things to work themselves out. Cheating is not a relationship ender. It can be a tremendous huddle that must be overcome. But its very possible and if you both are commitment you can achieve it.

Be open to try new and different things. Sex as said before for some people can make or break a relationship this shouldn’t be there case. But neither should being close minded and not working to make the sex better. It about feelings and reactions, the touch of his hands as they run down the spine of your back. Or the softness of her lips over you body.

Do what’s needed to find your love and happiness in your relationship.

 Theory Republic

Discussed recently was guys who talk shit about there pipe game and turn up wack. Well ladies now its your turn. While you don’t usually hear many females going in about how good their pussy is or how they can handle dick. There are females who do. You can hear it now, oh my shit is the bestest (nicki voice), you not gonna be able to last long in this, its all that.

Well ladies just like guys, don’t do it because some of yall be lacking. When first thinking about it how hard could it be for a lady to have a wack sex game. Well here are a few ways, the head game, can’t ride, can’t take deep strokes, just lays on her back, and this one is just for kicks, she’s just not that deep. Now as stated from the jump there aren’t as many ladies out there talkin shit about their pussy, which I think is good. I do not advocate dudes hyping up their dicks and the same goes for the ladies and their pussies. But in those area that were mention, I’m just going to have to say it like this. Step it up, ladies you cannot complain when what you working with just isn’t on point. Just like men, you all may have an off day every now and then. Which like men from time to time is cool, but not something that should be happening all the time. So I’m not saying you gotta be a freak, but make sure you handle ya business.

Some are going to read this and feel some type of way. Why was that said or no that’s wrong. And just like I, that is your opinion. Feel free to comment, or post a response. But this is a discussion on the dick & the pussy, and laying them both down right. Now there are a great deal of females out there that will say “oh he was talking all that shit about how he was gonna put it down and he aint do Shit!” And they usually stress or emphasize the “aint do SHIT” part. And well I’m not a female so I don’t know how it is on that side. But I too have had bad sex so I know how that goes.

So fellas, honestly don’t go around talking shit, don’t even hype the situation at all, put what you need to put down before the panties come down. Then begin to lay it down. If you leave out all the shit talking about how you gonna hit it like this, or you going to hit it like that, and your wack. She won’t be able to say that you was dumb hype and failed. On that same note in defense of the fellas, ladies from time to time we men have an off day (men this is another reason why you don’t go in talking shit about your dick, gives you more credibility if you claim that you truly have an off day). Back to the point at hand, yes ladies I’m keeping it honest sometimes that nut comes way before its suppose to, it just happens sometimes even to the best of us. The cause of that could be a variable of factors, of course it could be that homie just aint got what it takes in the pipe department, it could be that he hasn’t gotten any in a while, he could also just be trying to hard and there he blows. But let’s air on the best of the reasons, ladies it could be that what you working with is just that good and got him all sick in the game. If that is the case, ladies you should be proud. While that’s not the case for every women, men just going to tell you this. Don’t talk a whole bunch of shit about ya dick, when it comes time for you to put it down, let ya dick to the talking, well the stroking.

I’m over and done with the hood chic

I’m not over and done with the classy lady

I’m over and done with the hood chic thats all about names and labels

I’m not over and done with the classy lady thats about making paper

I’m over and done with the hood chic whose only into names and labels, who just wants to club all night

I’m not over and done with the classy lady thats about making paper, who wants to join me for dinner and a movie

I’m over and done with the hood chic, that into names and labels, who just hits the club all night and the diner in the morning

I’m not over and done with the classy lady whose about her paper, who joins me for dinner & a movie, and cooks breakfast in the morning

I’m over and done with the hood chic, whose all about names and labels, who hits the club all night,  the diner in the morning, and chills with her girls at home complaining about aint shit niggas

I’m not over and done with the classy lady, whose about her paper, joins me for dinner & a movie, cooks breakfast in the morning, and invites her girlfriends over to the house and speaks on how she loves her man.

I’m over and done with the hood chic, can’t take her ass nowhere, she lacks that class and sophistication  that I’m looking for

I’m not over and done with the classy lady who can hold her own, she realizing that the finer things in life aren’t just wrapped in a Louis bag or Tiffany’s box.

I don’t want a hood chic, but I want a classy lady, someone I can spend late Saturday afternoons with, take out to brunch on Sundays, cook dinner for on Mondays, meet after work for movies on Tuesday bring flowers home to on Wednesdays, speak politics and economics with on Thursday, and bring around the family and fellas on Fridays.